Ch 6 Blog 1

I think that rigid complementarity would be the most difficult pattern to change. If one partner is always the dominant role in the relationship, and the other is always submissive, it would be very tough to change. The dominant person would be too accustomed to having control and making decisions. The submissive partner may not feel capable of stepping into a dominant role, even if they were given the opportunity. This could be damaging to the self esteem of the submissive partner. I can see how this pattern may work for some interpersonal relationships, like parents and children as the text mentioned, but it would be a difficult pattern to follow in a long term romantic relationship or friendship. Eventually one party will become bitter at the one-up, one-down roles they play. For example, i dated this super nice guy while i was in the military. He was "too nice" in the sense that he forced me to be the dominant person in the relationship. I would have preferred a more symmetrical relationship, but he was incapable of making decisions for fear of making the wrong decision. In the end i felt more like his mother than his girlfriend, bleh, and i was bitter with the roles we played. Needless to say we didn't work out. My husband and i have a blissfully happy marriage today because we are constantly adapting and changing roles to suite the needs of our relationship. Sometimes I'm dominant, other times he is. At times we can get competitive, especially at the gym. We have blended complementary and symmetrical patterns to form a fantastic interpersonal relationship.